i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
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how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.