using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
