is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.