When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
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he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.