I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Send us your Text From Last Night!
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim