It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Your dad touched me again.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?