meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm going to jail i love you
I accidentally had phone sex last night