i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not