Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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