Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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