There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
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you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
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just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space