i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
They left me at home... I'm a liability
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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