omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.