do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits