You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i can juggle bunnies
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.