We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.