Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
You drinking a lot?
Define a lot
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.