if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"