I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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