thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
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Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.