You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"