While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
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His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You can't special order awesome
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I think I won the penis lottery.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.