and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.