grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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