3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
