I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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