How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
