she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.