Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
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I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
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all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
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I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...