can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.