I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.