She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
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I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
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i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..