I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Send us your Text From Last Night!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome