took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.