Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.