dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Send us your Text From Last Night!
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer