You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.