No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
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At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.