as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
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Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.