If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?