maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.