I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
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Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
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the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
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At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.