No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
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You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.