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    (757): View more from Virginia

    he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.

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    Replies (15) Good night (3201) Bad night (1392) Order T-Shirt
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    (914): View more from New York

    dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.

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    Replies (3) Good night (702) Bad night (1950) Order T-Shirt
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    (281): View more from Texas

    I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?

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    Replies (62) Good night (1174) Bad night (2766) Order T-Shirt
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    (612): View more from Minnesota

    im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.

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    Replies (3) Good night (3471) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
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    (403): View more from Alberta, CA

    Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.

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    Replies (12) Good night (2261) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
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    (870): View more from Arkansas

    Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!

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    Replies (63) Good night (949) Bad night (2115) Order T-Shirt
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    (443): View more from Maryland

    There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.

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    Replies (24) Good night (1118) Bad night (2760) Order T-Shirt
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    (949): View more from California

    i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way

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    Replies (20) Good night (831) Bad night (2596) Order T-Shirt
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    (316): View more from Kansas

    sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.

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    Replies (38) Good night (766) Bad night (6578)
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    (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

    I just cut my nipple shaving

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    Replies (41) Good night (468) Bad night (4809) Order T-Shirt
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    (703): View more from Virginia

    Grow some girl-balls and come out already

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    Replies (8) Good night (2985) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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    (410): View more from Maryland

    Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.

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    Replies (6) Good night (4409) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
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    (619): View more from California

    I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.

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    Replies (24) Good night (4170) Bad night (508) Order T-Shirt
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    (810): View more from Michigan

    My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.

    (1-810): View more from Michigan

    either way. win, win.

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    Replies (37) Good night (3182) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
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    (336): View more from North Carolina

    walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.

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    Replies (39) Good night (1790) Bad night (12400) Order T-Shirt
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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