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he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
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