I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Send us your Text From Last Night!
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.