Texts From Last Night

Favorite
(715): View more from Wisconsin

went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(715): went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower. http://tfl.nu/u1zb

Replies (22) Good night (7955) Bad night (1293)
Favorite
(843): View more from South Carolina

there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(843): there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done. http://tfl.nu/q1zr

Replies (56) Good night (6437) Bad night (1217)
Favorite
(970): View more from Colorado

3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(970): 3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4. http://tfl.nu/2tep

Replies (16) Good night (7448) Bad night (641)
Favorite
(910): View more from North Carolina

so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(910): so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch. http://tfl.nu/syjm

Replies (57) Good night (17084) Bad night (1180)
Favorite
(678): View more from Georgia

Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(678): Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners http://tfl.nu/cs50

Replies (32) Good night (4230) Bad night (551)
Favorite
(928): View more from Arizona

i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(928): i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now http://tfl.nu/zt2g

Replies (19) Good night (570) Bad night (5526)
Favorite
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(814): you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving. http://tfl.nu/zfap

Replies (14) Good night (918) Bad night (5469)
Favorite
(603): View more from New Hampshire

Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(603): Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/y50b

Replies (16) Good night (2239) Bad night (2344)
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body

(508): View more from Massachusetts

how many servings is brandon's dick?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body (508): how many servings is brandon's dick? http://tfl.nu/n1yr

Replies (57) Good night (5214) Bad night (713)
Favorite
(480): View more from Arizona

Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.

(1-480): View more from Arizona

Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?

(480): View more from Arizona

You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(480): Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room. (1-480): Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess? (480): You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about. http://tfl.nu/fd7a

Replies (38) Good night (7379) Bad night (708)
Favorite
(508): View more from Massachusetts

You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(508): You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life. http://tfl.nu/6ito

Replies (10) Good night (959) Bad night (2593)
Favorite
(475): View more from Connecticut

just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles

(1-475): View more from Connecticut

exact location. now.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(475): just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles (1-475): exact location. now. http://tfl.nu/2i9v

Replies (26) Good night (1577) Bad night (3525)
Favorite
(404): View more from Georgia

You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(404): You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense. http://tfl.nu/zmp3

Replies (12) Good night (5818) Bad night (627)
Favorite
(443): View more from Maryland

i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(443): i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it. http://tfl.nu/j4pq

Replies (10) Good night (1224) Bad night (4625)
Favorite
(201): View more from New Jersey

my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(201): my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums. http://tfl.nu/0487

Replies (37) Good night (7399) Bad night (1605)

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: