have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Send us your Text From Last Night!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
