Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness