Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end