Texts From Last Night

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(719): View more from Colorado

never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.

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(719): never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned. http://tfl.nu/n10p

Replies (12) Good night (604) Bad night (5545)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?

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(617): So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus? http://tfl.nu/bsxq

Replies (19) Good night (1129) Bad night (5593)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.

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(610): not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis. http://tfl.nu/tt6j

Replies (11) Good night (588) Bad night (3818)
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(313): View more from Michigan

No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.

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(313): No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/6118

Replies (11) Good night (852) Bad night (3850)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk

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(832): just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk http://tfl.nu/fd5v

Replies (8) Good night (2960) Bad night (600)
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(434): View more from Virginia

I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.

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(434): I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it. http://tfl.nu/sxq7

Replies (9) Good night (1093) Bad night (3677)
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(417): View more from Missouri

on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.

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(417): on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there. http://tfl.nu/xvnw

Replies (20) Good night (624) Bad night (6599)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.

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(978): Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially. http://tfl.nu/gw0l

Replies (24) Good night (9199) Bad night (761)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.

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(504): As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them. http://tfl.nu/apo9

Replies (3) Good night (550) Bad night (3878)
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(301): View more from Maryland

You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope

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(301): You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope http://tfl.nu/v6u5

Replies (2) Good night (3878) Bad night (528)
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(+32): View more from Belgium

Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.

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(+32): Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello. http://tfl.nu/agdc

Replies (55) Good night (7062) Bad night (1489)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks

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(320): Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks http://tfl.nu/7398

Replies (64) Good night (1435) Bad night (6450)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.

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(541): I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him. http://tfl.nu/i7hv

Replies (32) Good night (1006) Bad night (5038)
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(239): View more from Florida

she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols

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(239): she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols http://tfl.nu/3kt1

Replies (30) Good night (862) Bad night (3973)
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(516): View more from New York

ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront

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(516): ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront http://tfl.nu/ih22

Replies (46) Good night (1136) Bad night (4564)

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