Texts From Last Night

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(313): View more from Michigan

I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.

(734): View more from Michigan

What'd you do?

(313): View more from Michigan

Its more like what im about to do.

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(313): I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight. (734): What'd you do? (313): Its more like what im about to do. http://tfl.nu/2yqx

Replies (6) Good night (3526) Bad night (553)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor

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(703): Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor http://tfl.nu/qca9

Replies (20) Good night (2542) Bad night (463) Order T-Shirt
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(830): View more from Texas

If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice

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(830): If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice http://tfl.nu/5b32

Replies (37) Good night (3612) Bad night (628)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.

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(508): my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter. http://tfl.nu/lkrq

Replies (14) Good night (469) Bad night (3097) Order T-Shirt
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(908): View more from New Jersey

im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs

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(908): im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs http://tfl.nu/kfrc

Replies (19) Good night (974) Bad night (2150) Order T-Shirt
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(954): View more from Florida

Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?

(787): View more from Puerto Rico

No, it just says ur easy

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(954): Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead? (787): No, it just says ur easy http://tfl.nu/6cbn

Replies (22) Good night (920) Bad night (1540)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.

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(734): I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire. http://tfl.nu/kkrz

Replies (17) Good night (1648) Bad night (2765) Order T-Shirt
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home

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(401): Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home http://tfl.nu/zrvk

Replies (22) Good night (624) Bad night (6335) Order T-Shirt
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(478): View more from Georgia

Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.

(706): View more from Georgia

Try anal, it works wonders.

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(478): Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week. (706): Try anal, it works wonders. http://tfl.nu/shua

Replies (21) Good night (747) Bad night (2475)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

my phone needs a breathalizer

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(413): my phone needs a breathalizer http://tfl.nu/d0rn

Replies (15) Good night (2172) Bad night (498) Order T-Shirt
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(203): View more from Connecticut

You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.

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(203): You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi. http://tfl.nu/yrsa

Replies (15) Good night (3037) Bad night (510)
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(207): View more from Maine

Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people

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(207): Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people http://tfl.nu/csbk

Replies (6) Good night (6386) Bad night (670) Order T-Shirt
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(901): View more from Tennessee

After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?

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(901): After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background? http://tfl.nu/ijcb

Replies (63) Good night (2561) Bad night (3327)
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(276): View more from Virginia

Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.

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(276): Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while. http://tfl.nu/zglk

Replies (3) Good night (741) Bad night (1153) Order T-Shirt
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(734): View more from Michigan

cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.

(630): View more from Illinois

if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.

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(734): cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink. (630): if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan. http://tfl.nu/ows1

Replies (6) Good night (1215) Bad night (1441)

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