he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone