I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??