at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Send us your Text From Last Night!
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us