Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
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Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.