Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Send us your Text From Last Night!
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.