Texts From Last Night

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(734): View more from Michigan

Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.

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(734): Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month. http://tfl.nu/t4ti

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(816): View more from Missouri

They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze

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(816): They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze http://tfl.nu/jmci

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."

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(401): We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this." http://tfl.nu/1p18

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(407): View more from Florida

woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.

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(407): woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over. http://tfl.nu/kn1h

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(404): View more from Georgia

If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.

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(404): If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs. http://tfl.nu/yiw2

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(732): View more from New Jersey

yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it

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(732): yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it http://tfl.nu/reim

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(586): View more from Michigan

Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?

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(586): Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule? http://tfl.nu/p75m

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.

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(484): We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break. http://tfl.nu/ezuj

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(630): View more from Illinois

You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".

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(630): You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking". http://tfl.nu/tuao

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(925): View more from California

While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."

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(925): While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me." http://tfl.nu/vnft

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila

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(508): Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila http://tfl.nu/42fz

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(513): View more from Ohio

I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.

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(513): I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before. http://tfl.nu/ut58

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(206): View more from Washington

I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death

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(206): I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death http://tfl.nu/irfc

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.

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(321): I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day. http://tfl.nu/k9f2

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(513): View more from Ohio

They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.

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(513): They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is. http://tfl.nu/k34n

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