Texts From Last Night

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(732): View more from New Jersey

He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.

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(732): He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it. http://tfl.nu/hjdx

Replies (79) Good night (9291) Bad night (2907)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.

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(215): distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard. http://tfl.nu/840x

Replies (36) Good night (4320) Bad night (1891)
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(734): View more from Michigan

The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.

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(734): The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister. http://tfl.nu/1i96

Replies (18) Good night (6963) Bad night (1197)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."

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(208): I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing." http://tfl.nu/1ant

Replies (26) Good night (6424) Bad night (773)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?

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(919): Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus? http://tfl.nu/9yje

Replies (22) Good night (855) Bad night (4103)
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(917): View more from New York City

she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.

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(917): she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could. http://tfl.nu/cj4q

Replies (74) Good night (3996) Bad night (18124)
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(712): View more from Iowa

the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout

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(712): the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout http://tfl.nu/qr0c

Replies (14) Good night (5000) Bad night (813)
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(937): View more from Ohio

i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.

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(937): i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester. http://tfl.nu/q7xe

Replies (31) Good night (5913) Bad night (2174)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.

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(908): Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got. http://tfl.nu/yeqj

Replies (12) Good night (1320) Bad night (4098)
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(313): View more from Michigan

So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.

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(313): So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale. http://tfl.nu/y4yj

Replies (49) Good night (21140) Bad night (1100)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed

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(504): i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed http://tfl.nu/6hho

Replies (17) Good night (6937) Bad night (1004)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.

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(860): I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination. http://tfl.nu/f55n

Replies (4) Good night (3391) Bad night (714)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.

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(919): My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning. http://tfl.nu/jpte

Replies (13) Good night (705) Bad night (3782)
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(301): View more from Maryland

you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.

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(301): you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens. http://tfl.nu/fm3u

Replies (10) Good night (981) Bad night (3271)
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(719): View more from Colorado

So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him

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(719): So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him http://tfl.nu/i94e

Replies (21) Good night (729) Bad night (6099)

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