The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though