Texts From Last Night

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(863): View more from Florida

It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(604): View more from British Columbia

I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment

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(240): View more from Maryland

All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.

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(631): View more from New York

she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly

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(989): View more from Michigan

I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit

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