If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
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he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
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we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
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yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.