Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
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I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.