I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Send us your Text From Last Night!
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.