i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.