how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
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This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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