I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described