there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.