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You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
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