No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
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He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.