it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
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not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
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Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
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Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few