Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
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No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
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My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.