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    (614): View more from Ohio

    You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.

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    Replies (36) Good night (787) Bad night (2936) Order T-Shirt
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    (440): View more from Ohio

    im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs

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    Replies (7) Good night (686) Bad night (2256) Order T-Shirt
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    (248): View more from Michigan

    I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person

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    Replies (13) Good night (3535) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
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    (813): View more from Florida

    Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.

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    Replies (20) Good night (3572) Bad night (557) Order T-Shirt
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    (206): View more from Washington

    My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ

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    Replies (23) Good night (857) Bad night (1562) Order T-Shirt
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    (571): View more from Virginia

    so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.

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    Replies (14) Good night (1693) Bad night (759) Order T-Shirt
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    (503): View more from Oregon

    He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat

    (1-503): View more from Oregon

    Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.

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    Replies (68) Good night (3954) Bad night (1003) Order T-Shirt
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    (907): View more from Alaska

    i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me

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    Replies (50) Good night (813) Bad night (3482) Order T-Shirt
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    (913): View more from Kansas

    id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"

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    Replies (5) Good night (2247) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt
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    (956): View more from Texas

    Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.

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    Replies (74) Good night (3710) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
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    (812): View more from Indiana

    he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.

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    Replies (13) Good night (515) Bad night (2020) Order T-Shirt
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    (408): View more from California

    Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.

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    Replies (16) Good night (3883) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
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    (803): View more from South Carolina

    You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo

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    Replies (35) Good night (3931) Bad night (490) Order T-Shirt
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    (772): View more from Florida

    I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.

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    Replies (10) Good night (2123) Bad night (693) Order T-Shirt
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    (314): View more from Missouri

    so how does one go about finding a summer fling?

    (214): View more from Texas

    take advantage of an intern

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    Replies (18) Good night (2596) Bad night (401)
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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