Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.