Someone shattered a urinal.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.