Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
As shirtless as possible
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.