The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
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The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
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And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
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Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.