I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
let's call it "werewolfing"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?