She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.